Random Post: Hail To The Smirk


Peter Kormos Is Ready To Haggle With Whores Over Price To Save Your Tax Dollars

Okay, so the NDP isn't usually associated with aggressive cost-cutting. But Peter Kormos proves that the NDP is willing to work hard (and risk a little VD) to keep your tax rates low:

"Five federal MPs who plan to spend $200,000 touring European and U.S. brothels can visit homegrown talent at a fraction of the price, NDP MPP Peter Kormos says. 'We're talking about five federal members on a junket touring European whorehouses at a cost of $40,000 each,' Kormos said yesterday. 'I can take anyone of them down to Bridge St. in Niagara Falls and get them laid for less than $50.'"

(Via Adam Daifallah)


No, not my ribs!

Daddy's had a rough day, kids. Inspired by the warm spring weather and the throngs of blissed-out looking joggers, Optimuscrime decided to go for a run. Our body's response, in short, was this: 'OMFG. Are you kidding me?'

Suffice to say that we have gotten a touch out of shape from hibernating* over the winter. We're signing up for a Running Room clinic tomorrow, and we'll report back on our progress. We're hoping it will be something akin to figure 1, above.

* Where hibernating is understood to mean 'binging on cambodian take-out and watching reruns of CSI'.

So, for tonight, enough with the physical fitness, and onto the internettal phatness:

  • Cloaking shields up! (Via Hedonistica)
  • Paul's Chin: Officially Approved By This Hour Has 22 Minutes
  • Attention emo boys with Ph.Ds (via Sofi, natch)
  • From the Dept. of Never Gets Old: Fuckin' with plagiarists. (Via SFB)


You Just Need To Have A Really Expansive Definition Of 'Culturally Significant'

Talk about pimp game: McDonald's is working on a plan to pay rappers to namedrop the Big Mac sandwich.

"McDonald's in the United States wants hip-hop artists to rap about the burger — and is willing to pay them if they write it into their songs... McDonald's spokesman Walt Rider said the company wants to connect with young customers in 'relevant, culturally significant ways.'"

McDonald's announced the program this morning; P. Diddy's all-Big Mac album, We Invented The Big Mac, is expected in stores tomorrow.

"Big Mac, Big Mac, Big Mac," Diddy commented when asked about the potential implications for musicians' artistic integrity. "Bigmacbigmac! Now pay me!", he added.


The Operating System That Dare Not Speak Its Name

The EU and Microsoft are squabbling over naming for the WMP-less version of Windows that Microsoft has been ordered to produce:

"The Commission ordered Microsoft to sell a version of Windows without its Windows Media Player audiovisual software but the two clashed over a suitable name... Microsoft wanted consumers to be clear what they were buying but the Commission said it should not put off consumers, like Microsoft's first choice, 'Windows XP Reduced Media Edition.'"

Some other names proposed by Microsoft included:

  • Windows Cheapskate Edition
  • Microsoft Windows XP Eunuch
  • Microsoft Windows Reduced Awesomeness Edition
  • Windows For Girly-Men
  • Windows XP (Without Them Fancy Movin' Pictures)
  • MS-DOS
  • Windows Inadequate
  • Microsoft Windows Olde-Tyme Operating System