Dear Internet,

It feels like ages since we last spoke. Two full days without bloggin'? We're getting the shakes and the cold sweats. Withdrawal!

We've been nose to the grindstone with surprising frequency, and have some interesting work-related news that will be blogified promptly, once confirmed. For the curious, we can only hint that it involves publication. (Woot!)

The second round of Manhunt was also an unqualified success. We would like to tip our hat to Eric Duncan, who is totally Jack Bauer. His skills of runnifying and hidifying are unparalleled. He vanishes, to quote Master Splinter, into the shadows... without a trace.

We've been doing our usual Optimuscrime thing (rock music and political punditry) with disappointing infrequency. But on the latter front, huzzah for homo marriages! And huzzah for the implosion of the Tory PR machine! On the rock front, we've been in love with Sixeyes, who helps us discover at least one or two great new bands a week, we're ever-grateful to Aaron Wherry for pointing us to the Stars' video, and we're saving all our excitement for Final Fantasy in Kingston on July 7th.

Lovingly yours,

OPTIMUSCRIME

Ethnicization of border disputes is a deeply troubling issue in international affairs. That is, until you recruit a bunch of Korean kids, weaned on hypercute Manhwa comics, and get them to make drawings of virulent hate messages. Then you're still half-appalled at the horrific brainwashing of the youth, but you're mostly giggling at the happy Korean flag jumping up and down in boxing gloves.

Cuteness is dangerous stuff. Seriously, measures need to be taken to keep this stuff out of terrorists' hands. There's simply too high a risk that people would be all like, "well, I didn't think much of neo-fascism before, but then I saw this adorable cartoon panda-bear-robot thing that explained it really compellingly."

The Toronto Star today published a non-story on Karla Homolka's impending release from prison, and made the decision to 'supplement' the story with a Photoshop collage to illustrate the point that -- gasp -- Karla could use makeup, hairdye and even glasses to change her appearance!

Once you've gotten over your shock from that breaking news item, take a look at the actual Photoshop masterpiece the Star ran. Now concerned parents know exactly how to spot Homolka if she pretends to be a auburn-haired transvestite, Andie Macdowell, or Lisa Loeb.

We've followed up with some 'journalism' of our own, expanding the possibilities for the post-prison Karla:

Don't laugh. THIS IS FOR OUR CHILDREN'S SAFETY.